i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
