i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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