And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
