I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
