actually, I'm a sock model
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You have to summon your inner elephant
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
