haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
