he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
