I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
