who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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