I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
