you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
