So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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