Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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