No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
