I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
