Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
