So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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