I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
