fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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