so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
