If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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