No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
