Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
