I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
