Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
