If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
