DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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