5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
