At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
