i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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