omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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