I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
