i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
