From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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