I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
