my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
