Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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