PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
