And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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