your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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