My friends, they love my intelligence
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My breasts were aching with rage.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
