Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
