I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
