toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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