So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
