what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
You brought string cheese to the strip club
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
