I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
