hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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