Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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