wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
