mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My life is pants optional.
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