You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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