Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
