i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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