do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
