my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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