do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
