all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
