PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
