matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
