The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
