I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
