I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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