haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
