I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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