you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
