Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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